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Ball Don't Lie
3.24.09 Jazz vs. YaoBot v3.0
Written by CB Jack   
Tuesday, 24 March 2009 07:15

We found our winner in the TBJ Giveaway. Devin has won a pair of tickets to see the Jazz and Rockets tonight. We had some great entries. Here are a few that made me laugh, along with our winner.

Jeremy: I want the Jazz to play the Rockets in the playoffs because I want to see Artest blow up at Harpring and start a riot.
(Don't we all)

Kendall: I want the Jazz to play the Rockets in the playoffs because when they come to SLC, there is enough oil and grease coming from Scola's hair to service every one of Larry H. Millers car dealerships.
(Don't forget McGrady's tears to fill the radiators)

scola05i

Devin (our winner): I don't want to play the Rockets because...

YaoBot v3.0 is looking scarier than ever this year. Everyone knows that Yao Ming is a robot that the NBA developed so that they could sell jerseys in China (The signs are all there: Seven feet and Chinese had never been uttered in the same sentence until 2003 when YaoBot v1.0 entered its rookie season. 7'6" and 87% from the stripe. Unable to play for stretches longer than 4 minutes without needed a battery recharge.). While the NBA's goal of raising global awareness to fatten their pocket books has worked to a certain degree, YaoBot has had mechanical issues and has yet to reach optimum performance for an entire NBA season. YaoBot v3.0 is mechanically superior in all major statistical categories this year (PPG, RPG, APG, BPG, FG%, FT%), but what is really scary is YaoBot's minutes are up and it is on pace to operate in 80 gaes this year. Couple that with Domestic Violence Artest playing some of the best ball of his career and Lazy-Eye McGrady finally out of the picture and it's safe to say that the Rockets are significantly scarier than the past two years.
(I disagree that we should be scared of the Rockets, it should be the other way around, but great submission none-the-less)

 

yao_ming_3

or

yao-ming-transformer

Congrats to Devin! Enjoy the game courtesy of TicketCity and True Blue Jazz!

On to the game preview....

I am really looking forward to tonight's game. This game is of Epic proportions for a few reasons:

  1. The Jazz don't get many chances to see playoff teams at home from this point on. They must come out firing on all cylinders and take this game. The road will not be kind to the Jazz and we need every home game in order to steal the 5 or 6 spot.
  2. I don't want to have to listen to The Dream Shake or their cronies talk about how thisyear is different for the Rockets. It's not. You're still not getting out of the first round Rockettes. Our never ending argument of "we beat you the last two years like bongo drums" against their argument of "when was Utah's last championship? I thought so" might be just that, a never ending argument. 
  3. The Blazer Fan virus. The Jazz need this game as an antibiotic to combat the virus that is Bust-A-Bucket. These guys are nothing more than flies swarming a gut wagon. When the stink really starts to come out, not even the flies can take it. Once the Blazers lose in the first round, we'll see how many flies are still swarming around that wagon. We need this win to silence them and their clown followers. PS. How did that OT loss to the mighty Sixers taste? At home? I thought the Blazers were indestructable at home? Don't worry, I'm sure it was the refs fault.
  4. The Jazz need this win to get into the 5 spot. Why? Because there is not another team I want to beat in the playoffs than the Denver Nuggets. The Nuggies lost last night too. This is a prime time for the Jazz to make up some ground.

I think we'll see the Jazz come out strong tonight and prove that they are still a force to be reckoned with in the West. Jazz are 5 pt favorites tonight. I would expect the Jazz to cover being at home. Let's get fired up for this game and make sure we let our voices be heard over at The Dream Shake (they really like Jazz fans and the more the better over there).

Oh, and we do have an answer for YaoBot v3.0....

deron_irobot

Previews:
ESPN
SLC Dunk
The Dream Shake

accuscore_jazz_rockets

Comments (46)Add Comment
...
written by Cvd2312, March 24, 2009
Hey d-bags, even IF the Blazers lose in the first round, its not going to get Blazer fans down or upset. Do you know why? Because the average age of our team is freakin 24!!! And even though we lost last night, Oden showed the kind of beast that he is and is going to be for years to come.

Enjoy this while you can, because Portland is only getting better. And getting better fast. We didn't hardly change our roster (other than Oden playing) this year from last and we've already won more games, with 11 to go. Boozer is walking away from Utah (who would blame him?) the first chance he gets, that's a given. What are you gonna do then?

Have fun coming into our place on the 31st
...
written by Scrumtrulescent, March 24, 2009
that's really what you're coming at us with? The "wait and see" approach?
...
written by CB Jack, March 24, 2009
CVD. You're a troll. Even the good trolls hate reading your comments. They are shallow and poorly thought out.

The joke is you. You are the one making this site a joke with your awful comments. How about you go and try your luck at BustABucket with the other flies.
...
written by Cvd2312, March 24, 2009
You guys are inviting people like me when you post garbage like this. You insult blazer fans and a blazer blog, what do you expect?

Like I said, have fun coming to our house on the 31st
...
written by booner, March 24, 2009
Great post CB. Good clean trash. Love the entries from the readers too. Still laughing about the "Scola grease." I am afraid to talk about tonight's game in fear of the booner jinx, but I am equally giddy as I am nervous about it. Make it happen D-Will. Make it happen.
...
written by The Agreement, March 24, 2009
CVD3P0 - Well, the game is in Portland, so you guys are supposed to win, but don't expect the injury-fest blow-out you guys got the last time we were in town. We are healthy, and we are a lot better team than the sixers. Does that one sting a little? In other words, expect us to be ready. We want that game.

Also, I agree with CB. Your comments are full of emotion, and show a lot of insecurity. It kinda reminds me of a fat girl telling her friends in the middle of a tear-filled breakdown that she just has big bones and that she isn't actually fat. If you actually beleived that your team was so far supperior to us, you wouldn't come to our website every day to see if we had said anything about the Blazers.

PS- I heard there is going to be a huge Star Wars Convention in Portland this weekend. You going? Tell me how it is man-I love Star Wars!
...
written by The Agreement, March 24, 2009
Also, have you checked the average age of the Jazz lately? I hope you get nice and cozy in second place.
...
written by booner, March 24, 2009
Because the average age of our team is freakin 24!!!

And apparently the Jazz have an average age of 65.
Our starting 5

Carlos Old Man Boozer: 27
Ronnie "Get the Jazzy Ready" Brewer: 24
CJ "Knee Brace" Miles: 22
"Grandpa" Mehmet Okur: 29
Deron "Dentures" Williams: 25

Bench:

Andrei "Ensure" Kirilenko: 27
Paul "Metamucil" Milsap: 24
Kyrylo "Getcha Walker Ready" Koufos: 20
etc.
etc.

We will enjoy it why we can Cvd because it is obvious a huge turn around, due to retirement is coming up really quick.

...
written by Cvd2312, March 24, 2009
I'm not expecting a blowout. I know the Jazz were not healthy last time. I also know that Portland gets up for big games at home, hence why we have recent home blowouts over the Spurs and Lakers. Expect US to be ready.

I don't think Portland is far superior to the Jazz right now. In fact, I think it is pretty equal, with proabably a slight edge to Utah simply because of experience, but not much, and Portland is gaining ground fast and will pass the Jazz very soon, probably when Boozer walks away.

But I think its funny how much you guys look down to Portland like you guys have done so much.

...
written by CB Jack, March 24, 2009
Inviting? You're always invited buddy! We love having you. You have single handedly confirmed my suspicions that the majority of Zer fans are nothing but NBA Transient fans who are looking for the hottest and coolest team to follow.

Stupid Hobo.
...
written by Cvd2312, March 24, 2009
Yeah, that isn't going to help when Boozer walks is it? Roy and Williams wash each other out, after thatI like our core young players a lot more than yours.
...
written by Scrumtrulescent, March 24, 2009
much better comment than the first 2
...
written by Scrumtrulescent, March 24, 2009
If Boozer walks, I'll eat my shirt. AND I'll put it on YouTube
...
written by CB Jack, March 24, 2009
Agreed. I still put the credibility level at around a 3
...
written by UtesFan89, March 24, 2009
He won't walk. If anything, he'll stab a knife in your back and run away.

That or he just gets a new contract here. Maybe one with a clause that costs him money if he gets hurt...
...
written by The Agreement, March 24, 2009
So, based on all of your comments from the last couple of months, your whole argument as to why the Zers will be better than the Jazz in the future hinges on whether or not Boozer walks, right?

Its not looking so good for you right now then buddy. Remember, he chose Utah, he wants to stay in Utah, he just wants a raise. If he walks he walks, but the Jazz have said they want to keep him, so if they do, are you admiting your team will be in second place for a long time?
...
written by The Agreement, March 24, 2009
We have won more playoff games in the last two years than anybody else out west except for San Antonio. What have you guys done?
...
written by Cvd2312, March 24, 2009
Who are the Zers?

I've been a BLAZER fan for as long as I can remember. I'm sure you've been an Azz fan for as long as you can remember too. I don't know why you're questioning my fan credibility
...
written by Cvd2312, March 24, 2009
First of all I didn't argue about anything regarding the Zers. I don't know who that team is. The Blazers, on the other hand, will probably be better than Utah in 1-2 years even if Boozer did stay, but the fact that he will leave only makes it that much easier for us to surpass you.

I happen to remember Cleveland fans also thinking that Boozer loved it so much in Cleveland. Don't kid yourself, he doesn't want to stay in Utah. Who really grows up and dreams of playing for the Jazz? I mean come one. Utah is the team that everyone makes fun of, even when they are good.

No matter what, I'm sure these teams will have lots of good battles in the years to come, but I don't think I'm alone in thinking that Portland has a lot more room to grow than Utah does. Are Kirilenko or Okur going to get any better? No, they have pretty much reached their potential. Milsap, Miles, and Brewer all have room to improve. Milsap could be all-star caliber someday, but do miles and brewer really have that high of a ceiling? I don't think so, but they are nice role players. D-Will will get better at the same pace Roy does.

You guys have some nice young talent, but I don't see them having the potential that a guy like Oden does. Oden is coming off microfracture and is extremely unpolished but has still shown signs of being able to dominate, and he's only 21. We have 3 rookies contributing significantly this year, and a 23 year old starter who has been out all year that happened to torch you guys for like 20 something in 1 quarter last year.

Anyway maybe I'll be wrong. We'll see
...
written by Cvd2312, March 24, 2009
Thanks for saying the Blazers are cool though
...
written by Hammy, March 24, 2009
Long live the Booze!! So Greg Oden had one good game huh? Thats one more than it was looking like he would ever have so I guess you have that to look forward to. Speaking of injuries, when does Oden go down next? He might be the only player that is more fragile that Boozer and that is saying something. I bet that next year after the Jazz shed old man Collins and older man Harpring we will become the youngest team in the league. How does that feel Zer fan? The Jazz are better than your team right now, have more playoff experience than your team right now and will actually become younger than your team next season so according to your logic they will be the new team of the future and thus be better than your team for the forseeable future. Solid logic if I do say so myself.
...
written by CB Jack, March 24, 2009
Thanks for the look into your crystal ball. Too bad we didn't see any sign of you losing your virginity while we were there.

You didn't know that real Blazer fans call themselves Zers?! You must not be a big fan.
...
written by CB Jack, March 24, 2009
Logic also says that CDV2312 will be a Jazz fan next year.
...
written by CB Jack, March 24, 2009
Blazers are not cool. Zers are.
...
written by The Agreement, March 24, 2009
C-3P0 will be a Jazz fan because that's what his master programed him to do. In the same line as YaoBot, C-3P0 has been manufactured by Zer fans to come into Jazz forums and say things like "nobody likes Utah" and "the Zer's are so young, that once we go through puberty, they are toatally going to be better than you". But, there is a flaw in his programing in that he has to follow the youngest, best team in any given season. Since Greg Oden is a 16 year old in a 45 year olds body, C-3P0 has already began to show signs of dissention.
...
written by Cvd2312, March 24, 2009
Nobody that lives outside of Utah is a Jazz fan. Didn't I already tell you? The Jazz are the team everyone around the NBA makes fun of
...
written by booner, March 24, 2009
Nobody that lives outside of Utah is a Jazz fan

Scrum, where do you live?
Oh, and utesfan, where do you reside?
Just curious.
...
written by PhillyJazz, March 24, 2009
What a moron. Wasn't there just a national study done that concluded that the Jazz are the 11th most successful sports franchise in the United States? The Zers didnt make the top-25. In fact LA, Utah, and Boston were the only NBA teams in the top 12 I think. O and by the way, I live in Philly. Moron.
...
written by Sober As Hot Rod, March 24, 2009
Wow!?!? I currently live in Ohio, have lived in Detroit and Vegas. Every place I go everybody has at least respect for the Jazz, and I'm surprised at how many fans there are in other states.
...
written by Sober as Hot Rod, March 24, 2009
It seems like we haven't played in a week. I got so caught up in March Madness that I can't remember who we even played last? This should be a great game with a playoff like atmosphere. Go JAZZ
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written by Cvd2312, March 24, 2009
OK sorry guys, I was wrong. There are 4 people outside of the state of Utah that like the Jazz. Sorry for misleading everyone. I didn't realize that the Andre Kirelinko Jazz jersey was such a hot seller around the league, you know because they are so popular everywhere. Hahaha wow
...
written by CB Jack, March 24, 2009
can't....stop....laughing. Thanks for the suggestion CVD Zer fan.
...
written by The Agreement, March 24, 2009
More popular than the Zers. I guess that's all that matters.
...
written by Cvd2312, March 24, 2009
Hey I was right, you guys did erase my comment! I'm not sure how it was any more offensive than CB saying he didn't see any sign of me losing my virginity? Hmm. Seems a bit odd. CB's comment is still there. How is calling me a virgin any different than saying there are a lot of virgins in Utah? Someone explain before this terrible, terrible comment gets erased too!
...
written by CB Jack, March 24, 2009
You're losing your mind man.
...
written by Cvd2312, March 24, 2009
Hmm....Got some proof? Check this out:

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/attendance

Looks like the Jazz are 26th out of 30 NBA teams as far as road attendance. Portland isn't great either, at 21st, but 26th is brutal. Last year, Portland was in 28th as far as road attendance, and the Jazz 19th. Looks like people are coming out to see this young team a lot more this year, and less people to see your "young team." Ouch
...
written by Hammy, March 24, 2009
Check it again at the end of the season after the Jazz have played all of the playoff contending teams on the road. Besides, that is a completely stupid way to prove that your team is more popular than ours. We still have roadies against 7 teams that will sell out the building regardless of what poo-poo platter comes through while you get the rough crowds of Memphis, OKC and Clipperville. I am sure that attendance numbers will even out a bit more making your comment look more stupid than it does now. Please think before you type and try to do a little research to back up your claims.
...
written by The Agreement, March 24, 2009
I would try to find meaningless facts to back up my even more meaningless comments if I were you too. I wonder if the Rose Garden will sell out when the Jazz clean the floor with the Zers next week?

While we are being meaningless, take a look at average home attendence over the last 5 years. Even when we sucked we were in the top 6. You guys were off the charts! Guess that proves how bandwagon your fans are. Only sell tickets when your winning eh? Let me guess C3P0 you were sporting a Spurs jersey at the time....hahaha
...
written by Cvd2312, March 24, 2009
You're going to talk about ticket sales during the Jail Blazer era? I think the casual fan had good reason to not support those teams that Bob Whitsitt put together, it has nothing to do with being "bandwagon." I myself have never been a casual fan and was proud to support my team even when it was ugly.

Historically, Portland has had extremely good support for its franchise. That small window is the only time in Blazer history where attendance was not near the top of the league.

Nice try, though, it doesn't change the fact that nobody in the league wants to watch the Jazz. If you guys have been so good in recent years, why isn't anyone coming to watch when you visit other arenas?
...
written by Scrumtrulescent, March 24, 2009
Umm...quick note: we're playing the ROCKETS tonight! CV, please make a mental note of all your comments and come back on the 30th. Muchas Gracias. And I live in Indiana.
...
written by moneyman memo, March 24, 2009
I have never step foot in the state of Utah. I would give my left nut for the Jazz, anytime, anywhere.

I have lived in Texas, California, and now Florida. I have attended Jazz games at the Alamodome (San Antonio), the Oracle (Oakland, CA), and Amway Arena (Orlando). There are definitely Jazz fans living outside of Utah. Slow down there with the quick thoughts, Zer fan. Slow down.
...
written by Cvd2312, March 24, 2009
Will do sir. GO ROCKETS tonight. See you next week
...
written by UtesFan89, March 25, 2009
Sorry, I don't fit.

I'm born and raised in Utah... though I really want to get out soon (sadly, Washington & Oregon are my top 2 choices, if all works out).
...
written by UtesFan89, March 25, 2009
Fans go to watch teams that the NBA & MSM hype up. The Jazz aren't one of them, because the NBA & MSM get a lot more money from hyping up big-market teams.
...
written by grungedave, March 25, 2009
What the? When did you guys start getting commenters over here?
...
written by CB Jack, March 25, 2009
oh no you ditn't.....

Don't you wish you could give away free tickets? Although I'm sure you can get those anytime Houston plays.

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Larry H. Miller 1944 - 2009

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